Photo credit: worak under a CC license
I have a confession to make: I don’t have goals.
Wait, what? How can I not have goals and still be doing so well? My RSS subscriber count grows daily (250 262 last time I checked), my traffic is increasing, I get blog consulting jobs, and I’m having a great time.
I’m going to tell how I do it in just a minute, but before we get into that, let’s talk about goals. It has been pounded into us that We Must Have Goals. Furthermore, these goals must be Specific. In fact, they must be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. Oooh… that sounds so awesome in a business meeting, doesn’t it?
What else have we been fed about this?
- Break large goals down into manageable, smaller objectives
- Write our goals down to make them specific
- Post them where we will see them
- Read them to ourselves every day
- Tell them to other people as a means of creating social pressure to stay committed
BULLSHIT. At least, it’s bullshit for me. Whenever I have tried to Be A Good Person and follow any of the points above, I never seem to be able to stick to my goals. Most of the time, I can’t even remember them after a while. If I have to play amateur psychological tricks on myself that don’t even work, then I’m obviously trying to do something that doesn’t work for me.
We feel guilty if we have a hard time with goals, as though we were weak-willed, or something. Well, you know, some people are just different. One of the keys to success is knowing yourself, and I know that what works for many people doesn’t work for me. And that means it might not work for you, either. Most people reading this will probably think I’m strange, and that’s fine. Some of you will feel exactly the same way, however, and you will feel that I’m speaking for you, that finally someone understands.
So, to provide a contrary point of view to all the happy-dappy goal-setting talk out there, let’s take a closer look at the above points and do some myth-busting:
Break large goals down into manageable objectives
The idea is that a goal may too big to see our way through to its completion. It is so intimidating that we can’t figure out how to even begin. So, take that large, audacious goal and turn it into a hundred little ones. I can’t think of a better way to make a mountain out of a molehill, can you? There’s another name for this, by the way: it’s called project management (and I should know, because I have managed projects and taught it to hundreds of people). If you really want to feel like a goal is impossible, go ahead and turn it into a task list that’s five miles long. No thanks!
Write our goals down to make them specific
We’re told that if you don’t write down our goals and make them specific, then we won’t know what we’re really aiming for. I say that if we have to write it down before we even know what it is, then we don’t know what we want in the first place, and we’re just making something up to fill a void. If we don’t know what we want and we can’t say it without even hesitating, then engaging in a writing exercise is just shooting blanks.
Post goals where we will see them
What for? Are we going to forget them? They must not be very important if for some reason we need to subject ourselves to self-administered propaganda in order feel okay about what we’re trying to do. Seems to me this is already an admission of failure.
Read goals to ourselves every day
Are you kidding me? What is this, some kind of magic business spell? Or are we trying to convince ourselves of something we never believed in to begin with? Remember that scene in American Beauty when Annette Benning freaks out and is quoting her ridiculous affirmations to herself? Oh yeah, I want to be just like that.
Tell them to other people as a means of creating social pressure to stay committed
If we tell others about our goals, the thinking goes, then we create an obligation to accomplish the goal or we risk the disapproval and chastisement of our friends. Better to achieve the goal than to let our friends down, right?
Let me ask you a question: do you really think other people want to be dragged into some kind of psychological game that you’re playing with yourself? Not only that, but unless your friends are at the same level of success as you or higher, they will not be of much help. And even if they are at your level or higher, they may not really want you to accomplish your goal, because your failure makes them feel better about themselves. Yes, it’s petty and twisted, but that’s how a lot of people are.
How can we get things done without goals? Desires!
So if I don’t have goals, what do I have? I have desires.
Big.
Hot.
Burning.
Desires!
I don’t have a goal to increase RSS subscribers, I have a big, hot, burning desire to increase my RSS subscribers! I don’t care how much, because it’s never enough and I want more. There is no point in thinking about numbers or rates. Whatever number I see when I check my Feedburner stats, it needs to be higher, end of story. I do not simply have a goal to speak at a blogging conference one day, I have a yearning desire to do so, like a dream that must be fulfilled. I am driven to reinvent business blogging as something new and distinct from other types of blogging. Nearly every blog I see on the internet is a blog that needs my help. This is not just a difference in semantics. Goals are artificial constructions–that’s my whole argument against them in a word. Desires, on the other hand, are natural. They come from within, from fire and passion. Ever heard of a cold desire? Me neither.
Desires must build
Unlike goals, which are artificial to me, and which must be dealt with using artificial mechanisms that feel fake (again, to me), desires are natural and must build up over time to boiling point. I experience different desires at different levels of strength within me. Several of my desires have boiled over and because of that I have been furiously working on the next version of Remarkablogger, which involves several things happening at once. I am moving towards this as naturally as a plant bends towards the light.
But other desires haven’t built up as much steam, yet. I can feel them, but they’re not matured. They’re not to the point where they must be unleashed or else. As you can see, this is very different from setting goals, but that’s how I “get things done.”
I have another confession
If you’re thinking that making desires a reality is the same as setting a goal and then achieving it, you are mostly correct. I have another confession to make: what I’m really talking about here is that this is how I set and accomplish goals. In order to get you to see it a little more like I see it, I had to commit business methodology sacrilege and blaspheme against goals. I wanted you to question some basic assumptions and teachings, shake things up a bit.
Thinking of goals as desires and not over-structuring them is a method that works for me. It’s a method that’s authentic to me. If it feels fake or like I’m trying to be something I’m not, I can’t do it. And even if I tried, my blog would suffer–you, my readers and clients–would suffer for it. And we just can’t have that. Every time you read something I write or work with me to help your blog I want you to think: this guy’s on fire!
Thanks
I want to thank Christine O’Kelly for writing about how to achieve ridiculous goals. Her post really made me reflect and think about what I do and how I do it, and I realized that the whole goal-setting thing for me didn’t work–had never worked, and that doesn’t mean I’m weak or a failure–far from it, because I’m succeeding at everything I desire to do. I was inspired by her to really think about this issue.
15 Comments
Well Michael, I would have to say that I disagree on most of these points! But more interesting, is that I suspect that you do have goals!
(Side note readers: I think Michael is awesome and respect his opinions very much - don’t take this all too seriously, but more as a healthy debate!
)
I wonder when someone disagrees with every single point if they are being genuine, or just trying to find reasons to claim the opposite for the sake of disagreeing.
A goal is simply an objective that you want to achieve. For example, if you wanted to attend some blog expo in London 6 months from now, you would have to complete a series of steps to make this happen - everything from getting a passport in enough time, to buying the plane ticket, to booking the hotel, to figuring out what methods of transport would deliver you to the door of the expo at the right time. Whether you write it down or not, you’ve broken it down into smaller steps. A simple desire to go won’t get you there.
I would hope that when you consult someone about blogging, you give them some action items (mini steps) and I would assume that when they come to you for consulting, they desire a specific outcome from these steps - isn’t that goal setting?
Something like RSS subscribers… I see your point about not wanting to set a number goal. I don’t have a numbers goal either. But what about the other aspects of your business - do you really not have goals in these areas?
I’m not big on creating bloated action plans and over thinking goal setting, but there does seem to be an awful lot of steps that go into achieving something - and many of them are timely. If these action steps aren’t organized somehow, it can be very easy to fall behind.
I’m also assuming people have multiple things that they are striving to achieve. If I just had one thing to focus on, I may not need to set goals because I’d be constantly focused on that one thing. But most of us have to balance many things and it is very common for the ‘easy’ ‘comfortable’ things to consume our time while our big picture dreams never become a reality.
When working for someone else, we can take for granted how much planning and goal setting went into delivering the actions that come across our desks. But when we alone are responsible for the outcome, I would think that goals must exist in order to bring all of the pieces together.
It’s absolutely true that you can achieve things without setting goals. But good goal setting forces you to challenge your mind for ideas and solutions that you may not have otherwise. Start with a problem or a vision, and then work backward to deconstruct what is necessary to achieve it.
I agree - you don’t need social pressure to accomplish your goals. But you may need a strong sense of internal pressure. Achieving tough goals can be difficult and uncomfortable at times and it’s very easy to just avoid taking action if there is no sense of accountability. However, If you do have a BURNING DESIRE, this could certainly compensate for self accountability.
Can you forget your goals - you can certainly lose sight of and forget the steps necessary to achieving that goal. Especially until the actions become habits. Until these actions become a habit, I will argue that you can in fact forget or at least ‘conveniently forget’ about some of the things you need to do to move you closer to where you want to be.
Seriously Michael - do you really not have any goals and only desires? I don’t think you’re the type to say “I wish I had XYZ” while not figuring out a way to get there.
You used the word “can’t” here: “If it feels fake or like I’m trying to be something I’m not, I CAN’T do it.”
I assume that you are saying that If it feels fake or like I’m trying to be something I’m not, I WON’T do it.”
So I’d like to pose the question, why not? Is doing it your way completely working for you exactly as you imagined? I’m NOT saying that what I do is perfect for you - or for me! I’m not exactly where I want to be. I just wouldn’t want to see anyone get set in a way that isn’t producing the results they are truly capable of achieving.
You’re awesome Micheal. I appreciate your willingness to always put yourself out there.
Christine, you are correct on many of these points. As I revealed in the end, this is my way of setting and achieving goals. However, it’s more than just semantic games. What I see others doing often appears to me as putting the cart before the horse: goals are decided and created when there is no real desire to back them up and lend them any driving force. These are the types of goals I avoid.
I will be the first to admit that by presenting this as though I were against goals, I am engaging in a wee bit of baiting.
Starting with a problem or a vision and working backwards from it to deconstruct what is necessary to achieve it is what I do, but in this case I am referring to desires, drive, fire in the belly–whatever you want to call it. Passion.
I can create check lists and so forth with the best of them. I use these tools every day. But I’m also careful not to overplan and turn molehills into mountains.
What I’m trying to do with this article is shake people up a little bit and remind them to stay true to their source. Goal-setting for its own sake, GTD systems, etc., end up as substitutes for the real work with some people. In these cases, failure is the result, and either the system is blamed or the person thinks they’re somehow deficient.
Doing it this way does indeed work for me, as I stated in the beginning. This post is a glimpse into that. But I don’t force this on other people or think that it would work for others (my Myers-Briggs personality type is INTJ, for example, which is rare). When working with clients, everything is laid out step by step exactly so if that is what they want, because it’s all about what they want.
But otherwise I work in much more intuitive manner, driven by my desires, and I can hold it all in my head. We all have our own best ways of working. By sharing mine with the world, I’m not saying that anyone else’s methods don’t work for them. Now, I did have fun poking the sacred tiger of goal setting with a stick, I’ll admit it. I know that would make someone who feels invested in those methods uncomfortable, maybe even defensive. After all, who would dare question such established tenets? Well, I would!
I want people to feel uncomfortable, to cast a seed of doubt, because that opens the door to new ways of thinking, and that can lead to growth.
But one of my highest values as a human being and as a blogging coach is effectiveness and appropriateness of methodology. This is one of my strengths as a coach and consultant because I can adapt myself to just about anything when I’m hired by others to help them realize their vision or solve a problem. It makes me a natural fit for this kind of work.
Thanks for such an awesome response and for inspiring me in the first place!
Love it! What you say here says it all:
“Goal-setting for its own sake, GTD systems, etc., end up as substitutes for the real work with some people.”
That is so true!
As I mentioned, I’m not a big fan of over planning - but I do love the challenge of setting ‘goals.’ The most important part is having the goal or the passion in the first place and actually believing that it can be done.
You rock! I like that you challenge conventional thinking
Michael
I’ve only recently posted on my blog around one of your posts (Britney), but can feel another trackback coming on. Back in October I posted “Are Goals Necessary?” as I illustrated how, as a 49 year old professional person, I had never set career goals but had moved through 8 different jobs. My philosophy of personal development comes down to (1) skills development (2) passion. I think it ironic that many people back up complex goal setting with beliefs in Laws of Attraction, etc! Anyway - great post and discussion.
@David: Your trackback will be most welcome!
The more I worked on this post the more I realized that I could get totally flamed for it and I hesitated to publish it. But then I thought about what Remarkablogger is all about: it’s about helping others through direct services like blog coaching and by being an example. I can’t be a good example to others if I’m not walking my own talk. This post is a strong, passionate statement that adds to my personal brand, whether anyone else agrees with it or not.
There was no need or place to mention it in the post, either, but since you brought up the so-called law of attraction, I will say that it is complete bullshit.
I think this is debatable since each person have different unique way of thinking, strength and how best they do thing to achieve result.
The key things is to understand yourself, know what work best for you, what kind of thinking that can turn you into action and moving forward is what count. Either setting a goal, continue listen to your own burning desire or continue improve 10% everyday to achieve result, you need to know what work for you.
No amount of books and goal setting methodology can help you to figure this out, you need to figure out this for yourself and put your natural talent into use.
@Ken: That’s exactly right, and why I wrote this. Most of the goal-setting happytalk out there just doesn’t go down well with me. I have my own way of doing things that is true for me, and I wanted to share that with people as a way to differentiate and to provide an alternate perspective.
Yo Michael,
Can’t wait to start coaching with you.
As for this post, koodoos to you for the audio version. It made it real easy to consume.
As a seasoned professional in the field, I wholeheartedly agree with your position. Why?
When I was a kid, there were about 12-15 things I really wanted to be and…over the years, I’ve essentially done ALL of them. I had no GOALS towards their accomplishment. I had decided long ago to DO and BE them.
To me, they were a done deal; they would occur when they were supposed to in their own time.
These objectives have included being a doctor, a choreographer, a dancer, a fashion designer, a martial artist, a college cheerleader, a published writer/author, a composer, a singer, a hydroponic gardner, an actor, performing as a concert pianist in front of 3000 people and exploring several continents.
I had a burning desire to accomplish those things and just DID it. I didn’t CARE if anyone approved of what I did. I wasn’t doing it for them. In fact it’s WHEN I ALTER what I do for because of others input or static that I get into trouble and things get stalled.
Yes, I agree to breaking things down into PROJECTS. My current book is a project. Developing an exposure and marketing system for it is a project. The ancillary products and content are projects. And, the lineup of what is coming down the road are, you guessed it, PROJECTS.
Goals, per se, have no power for me. They are closer to wishes, to wants, to dreams. Someone I know said goals are dreams with a deadline. However to make a goal REAL and actionable requires systematizing its completion, which means to set up a project for getting it done.
I met a guy YEARS ago that had developed a goal setting home study course that he wanted to market. He kept telling me that he was very good at it and could teach the principles to others. The problem was, he was also very BROKE. If he couldn’t action himself outta being broke through his goal getting program, well, I had a hard time believing his system really worked.
How many people have a GOAL to get out of debt? Many right! How many actually DO? Not many; hardly any.
The one thing that is true - because so many people are MYSTIFIED about the whole goals things, this leads to much fodder and opportunity for marketers. Just go to Nightingale Conant’s store and see HOW many goal setting and goal getting programs are there. LOADS.
Go over to Jim Rohn and do the same. Answer: LOTS.
We could repeat this over and over and the answer would be the same. People are still searching for the answer of how to get goals (don’t laugh…I see this ALL the time), how to make goals real, and how to achieve them, that is, how to FUEL them.
And the answer always comes BACK to this…
Burning Desire.
cj
@Cheryl: Well, thank you for the vindication! I know there are people out there who are more like me when it comes to this sort of thing. Regardless of what words you assign to things, or what meanings you assign to the words, or what system you’re using, wanting something to happen and making it happen are two very different things. Making it happen is where the flint meets the steel and sparks.The story of your friend who had a goal-setting course that he couldn’t sell or make money from made me laugh, because I see this kind of person on blogs all the time. They are the people with the make money blogs who aren’t making money. They are the people running the metablogs who aren’t saying anything original or even repackaging existing ideas in new ways. They presume to advise others but they have no authority.
Thanks for the support, and I do look forward to working with you, Cheryl, whenever you’re ready.
Thanks Michael for posting something that makes us think.
To take you one step ahead: Its not desire, but expectation that moves the world.
Why did the Williams sisters become tennis pros? Why did the Polgar sisters become chess grandmasters?
Where did their burning desires come from?
Their burning desire came from external expectation.
You could call it “dragging people into a psychological game” - but it works in creating burning desires. It helps people get important but un-likeable things done.
That is why masters like Edison had mastermind groups (Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs and Luther Burbank created the “vagabond” mastermind group.)
@Ankesh: Thanks so much for raising a great point and providing some awesome historical information. Being in a group of peers or a mastermind group is a fantastic idea. I had no idea that Edison, Ford, and gang were involved in such a thing. The old saying is true: birds of a feather flock together.
In the case of the Williams sisters, I certainly hope they love tennis, but their success could because they had a desire to please their parents when they were very young. The Williams sisters did not choose their parents and I doubt they chose their tennis coaches and trainers at first.
When I am doing work for a client, I am very concerned about meeting their expectations, but my desire to do the work in way they find remarkable and valuable precedes that. Desire doesn’t come from expectations, expectations come from desire. Desire is the fire in which expectations are forged.
Desire does not come from society, it comes from within an individual, from the heart. My family expects me to make money and support them. I could easily be a failure and disappoint them, but I feel very strongly about my role as a co-provider for my family. This has nothing to do with their expectations of me, but it has everything to do with my expectations of myself. There are plenty of unfortunate families whose fathers and mothers are failing them everyday because they lack the desire to achieve despite expectations placed on them.
Millions of Comcast and Verizon customers expect decent customer service, and they never get it, because the people running those companies have no desire to provide it.
A powerful combination occurs when both the desires and the expectations of people match. I think the amazing championship yeas of the Chicago Bulls is a wonderful example of this. There was amazing synergy between coach Jackson, Jordan, Pippin, and the rest of the team.
If your heart is not in something, and you merely create a goal because it is expected of you, you are very likely to fail. Every person who is in debt says they have a goal to get out of debt, and yet they remain in debt for years until their hand is forced. Why? Because they didn’t have any real desire to get out of debt, even though there is a lot of expectation to do so by society, credit reporting companies, collections agencies, and so forth.
If I have a burning desire to accomplish something, I don’t need to use other people as a psychological crutch to do it. I will have allies in those with similar desires, however, and that, I think, would be quite a “mastermind” group.
Thanks again for contributing your thoughts and ideas!
Thanks Michael.
As they say: there are many roads to Rome. Desire helps. And external expectations helps too.
But desire is something over which you have very little control. Where as you can channel external expectations.
I tend to look at artists for inspiration in getting things done. And if you study the lives of great artists, you’ll find that many of them would have been unknowns without external expectation.
Da Vinci. Genius without a doubt. But didn’t finish many of his inventions. If only he had some one to nudge him to finish what he started, we would have had the helicopter 300 years earlier.
Asimov. Had an affliction that made him write constantly - 8 hours a day. But he wrote a lot of non-fiction that no one liked to read. Without his editor forcing him, we would never have had the later books of the Foundation series (Foundation is his best series of books imho).
Both of them - Da Vince and Asimov - had burning desires. But it takes external expectation to get things done that one may not particularly like to do.
There is nothing like peer pressure to get you do things you wouldn’t necessarily do.
The whole success of AA stands on External Expectation. Very few alcoholics would be disciplined enough to stop drinking without a peer group - no matter how burning their desire is to stop drinking.
I can go on and on (and I’m sure you can too - on the topic of burning desires). In summary: a burning desire is a good thing to have. But I prefer external expectation because it can be channeled better.
Dear Burning Man
You make excellent points. Perhaps some of those burning desires arose from once smoldering embers?!
I struggled with SMART goal setting as a useful process for the longest time - mainly because of the sterility that they are promoted with in the corporate world down at the cube farm level.
But I believe it’s a different matter up in the C-level suites and boardrooms where wealth-driven goals are raging furnaces of desire for some of those folks. And I have seen them in action and felt their heat rays myself lol!)
From the tone of your post (which I enjoyed btw), I recommend you to read Robert Fritz’s book “The Path of Least Resistance”. He’s withering in his contempt for what’s loosely labeled as ’self-help’ and the culture of dependency and addiction it encourages (with a burning passion, no doubt). Anyway, a good read imho.
There’s a Brian Tracy quote that goes: “Success equals goals and all else is commentary”.
Replace the word “goal” with “burning desire” and I think the meanings (and probable outcomes) are the same.
regards
mark
@Mark: great comment! Brian Tracy once said that success is merely the byproduct of a good life. I agree with that, mostly. Thanks for the book recommendation. I hadn’t heard of Fritz. Deepak Chopra talks about the law of least effort in his Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. What I am leery of is how everything gets turned into this calcified system that sucks all the life out of everything and kills it.
I do love the challenge of setting ‘goals.’ The most important part is having the goal or the passion in the first places and actually believing that it can be done.
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