Remarkablogger

You can learn some valuable lessons about blogging from Britney. Don’t believe me? Please continue reading, O Skeptical One. Some of these are examples of what not to do, and some of them are positive. And yes, this is all a little tongue-in-cheek.

Looking good helps… a lot

I don’t mean you have to be physically good-looking (although that does help — people will generally respond more positively to a pretty face), I mean your blog has to look good. You need good blog design. Britney can’t dress herself. When she does, she looks like trash. When professionals fuss over her hair (when she has any), makeup, and clothing, she looks like superstar trash a million bucks. The lesson here? Unless you’re a designer, don’t dress your blog yourself. Get professionals to do it for you as soon as you can afford it.

You can’t really care what others say

Britney is surrounded by people who fawn over her and satisfy her every desire, while in the media she is the subject of endless speculation, gossip, criticism, and the butt of jokes.

Blogging requires thick skin and a nearly deranged single-mindedness. People will troll-bait you and flame you. They will tell you that you can’t succeed (often when they think they are “helping” you). They will try to siphon off of you or get something for nothing. They will disagree with your position. Or, perversely, they will sycophantically agree with everything you say. You have to ignore all of that. You can’t care what others say. You need to have people you can trust to give you an honest answer.

Think before you speak

Here are some gems Britney will never be able to take back:

I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.

You wanna be a good example for kids out there and not do something stupid. Kids have low self-esteem.

Where the hell is Australia anyway?

I always call my cousin cause we are so close we are almost like sisters and we are also so close because our moms are sisters.

Think about what you write or say on your blog. Think before publishing a comment. That’s my weak spot: I tend to submit comments before proofreading them and then they have errors in them I can’t take back.

Unexpected moves really get people’s attention

Unexpected moves (like dancing with a snake or marrying someone out of the blue) really get people’s attention. The post you’re reading right now is an example of this. I’ve never done a post like this, before. It’s unexpected. Some people may not like it because they love Britney and I’m making my point at her expense; and some won’t like it because they hate Britney and don’t want to see her picture or deal with her in any way. Either way, I think this makes the post linkworthy. Unexpected blogging moves can be the best kind of linkbait.

In the blogosphere, unexpected moves are actions such as:

• Redesigning your blog
• Taking the opposite stand on an issue from the majority
• Openly criticizing a powerful person or organization
• Suddenly quitting, selling, or starting a blog
• Deliberately and openly breaking the “rules” or disregarding established norms (such as with paid links or SEO)
• Turning your blog comments off

Too many changes or erratic behavior will cost you

Britney went off the deep end one night and shaved her head, freaking out just about everyone. That was the moment, I think, when people really began to find her unappealing, despite that they had always liked her music. But she did too many unexpected moves, too quickly, and her audience has begun to abandon her.

I had to learn this lesson the hard way, myself, after changing my blog around too much in the past. If you really want to drive your readers away, change your theme every few weeks. If you want to cut your subscriber count down to double digits, completely change the subject of your blog. An unexpected move once in a while is a good thing, but too many too quickly will ensure your blog is bereft of readers.

Wear underwear

This has nothing to do with blogging, really, it’s just a staple of life. Underwear: for goodness’ sake, wear it, okay?